


im trying my best, okay

by tonkystank



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Autistic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Baby Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Basically the dark side is super cold and they don't have a lot of food, Even though janus is also a child, Gen, Good Parent Deceit | Janus Sanders, Kid Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Kid Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Kid Deceit | Janus Sanders, Kid Fic, Kinda, Parent-Child Relationship, Struggling Parent Janus, Sympathetic Anxiety | Virgil Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, hunger, implied unsympathetic light sides, its not outright stated but thats what i was going for, tell me if I forgot to tag anything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-05
Updated: 2020-10-05
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:41:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,211
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26829790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tonkystank/pseuds/tonkystank
Summary: "Jan, I'm hungry."Janus sighed, guilt clogging up his lungs and making it hard for him to breathe.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders, Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders & Deceit | Janus Sanders
Comments: 8
Kudos: 229





	im trying my best, okay

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this stemmed from a commercial I saw so just go with it lmao  
> please leave a comment or kudos if you liked it! (i mean you don't have to but it would make my day lmao)

"Jan, I'm hungry."

Janus sighed, guilt clogging up his lungs and making it hard for him to breathe.

"I know, baby. We'll get some food tomorrow, I _don't_ promise."

Virgil brightened, his 4 year old body wiggling with excitement, even though he could feel hunger pains stabbing at him.

Janus smiled. Taking care of Virgil and Remus was... well, it was hard.

~~He's only 7, he shouldn't have to deal with this, I wanna be a child I want to play-~~

But he tried his best. It was like being with your best friends all the time!

Except for when your best friend is crying out because he's hungry and he's only eaten watered down milk and bread for 2 days because Janus is too ~~cowardly~~ cautious to steal from the light side.

Except for when your other best friend, who's only one year younger than you, is screaming about horrible scary bad bad bad things because he's scared and hurting and you have to help him but the four year old behind you is shaking in fear.

But Janus doesn't mind being their papa. It's fun!

"Are you gonna take from the bright people tomorrow?! Can I come with you?" Remus ran into the room, trailing... something behind him. Janus didn't know what it was, other than the fact that it was glowing an eerie green.

Remus jumped on the couch, immediately snuggling up to Janus and Virgil for warmth. Virfil stuck his tongue out at Remus and curled his hand further into janus's sweater; they were in one of their many quarrels again, although Janus doesn't know what about.

He stilled, breathing out and seeing his breath in front of him. "I don't know, Ree. Last time I went, that mean old Prince stuck his sword in my face." Images of an enraged Roman flashed through his mind; calling him a thief and threatening to get Logan if a snake doesn't get out of their kitchen.

He was just trying to get some food.

The dark side is so cold.

Virgil on the side of him scowled, sticking his tiny thumb into his mouth. "Mean ol' pwince." He gasped, brown eyes lighting up in excitement. "Do you think they gots goldfish?! I saw it on the tv when it was working!!! They looked really good!!"

Remus also gasped, "Goldfish! Hey, wouldnt it be cool if they were, like, actual fish?"

Virgil frowned at him, "No, cause dey would be gwoss if it was actual fish."

"How do you know, though?"

"Because! Because fish are in the sea and they're all salty and swimmy and they're with the sharks and the big big octopusses and and-"

Janus cut him off with a chuckle, "How did you learn so much about fish? Also, Remus, yes it would be _totally_ cool if they were actual fish."

Remus smiled a thousand watt smile, and was about to respond, before a full body shiver was sent through him and his teeth started chattering. A chill was sent through the air.

Janus and Virgil felt it too, Virgil whining and cuddling closer to Janus and pulling his legs underneath the big sweater he was wearing.

The dark side keeps getting colder, Janus isn't sure why. He heard Logan talking about the differences one day when he snuck food from there; something about the dakrer part of Thomas's mind being farther away and less useful (that didn't hurt at all) so there wasn't a use to keep it warm.

~~The light side was so warm.~~

"J, i- I'm freezing." Remus said, trying to bury himself closer to Janus. Remus is usually very warm, he just ran like that, but now he's lukewarm at most. Janus hopes he isn't getting sick, although he wouldn't be surprised if he was.

Some papa he is.

"I know, Ree. Just try to ignore it the best you can, okay?"

Remus nodded, cupping his hands over his nose and mouth to try to warm them up.

Virgil whined again, sticking his thumb back in his mouth as he kicked his feet under the blanket. Janus recognized the signs of him getting cranky.

"Okay, it's sleep time. Hey, maybe if you sleep, you'll wake up and it'll be warm again! Maybe we can even have some cereal!" Janus tried to be optimistic, but he knew the chances of it being warm again when they woke up was slim. It might even get colder.

Remus's eyes lit up, "Cereal?! Really?! Like the oatmeal with the dinosoar eggs that Thomas's mommy made him?!" When Janus confirmed with a shakey smile, Remus flapped his hands excitedly. "But I'm not-" He yawned. "Tired, though."

Janus raised an eyebrow, "Really? Then why did you yawn? You're not a good liar, Ree."

"Am too!"

"Are not!"

"Am too!"

Virgil whined louder again and Janus decided not to push the silly argument further. Even though he was right. "Its time for bed. Do you want Virgil to start screaming again?"

"If he does, I'll scream louder than him."

"Remus."

Remus sighed. "No, I guess not. His screams are no fun anyways."

"That's what I thought." Janus smirked and stood up, carefully picking up Virgil and settling him on his hip. Virgil immediately buried his face into Janus's shoulder, keeping his tiny eyes open as best he could.

The child-papa led them into his own room, Remus clutching onto the back of janus's sweater as they walked. They went into Janus's room because he has the thickest bed covers and the largest bed; and the atmosphere seemed to calm Virgil down in his heightened tantrum moments.

Remus ran and jumped onto the bed, giggling when he bounced a little and he heard the springs. He settled in on the left side of the bed, shimmying under the covers and concentrating just enough to summon his stuffed octopus.

Janus set Virgil down carefully in the middle, climbing into bed beside him.

He took a moment to observe them. Virgil, with his frail, tiny body and the bags under his eyes that no four year old should have. They recently figured out that he was Thomas's fear, so he gets scared much much more easily and Janus has to do his best to calm his random fears and worries.

Then Remus, who was also worryingly tiny and who's ribs you could see through his green rat sweater. When King split and Roman and Remus formed, Janus had immediately claimed Remus as his best friend because of the looks the ~~bright people~~ the light sides were giving him. They were afraid of him, Janus could tell. Remus was eccentric and loud and his ideas were a little scary sometimes, but he doesn't deserve to be shunned for it. He can't control it.

Virgil, who was behind the door that had formed here and was attached to Janus at the hip.

Remus, who was more Janus's best friend then his son and who always made him laugh and forget how hungry he was.

He loved them so much.

And as Janus turned off the lamp and engulfed the room in darkness, and tried to ignore how the cold seeped into his bones, he promised he would give them a better life.

They deserved it.


End file.
